**WINZ ALERT** What an effin’ season! I always thought Kathleen had it in the bag… Hahahaha! This season: with Kathleen, Natasha and her crazy Russian ways, the plus-sizers, crazy Jael, Evilene and Cha-Cha Diva was a doozy! Prolly my totes fave! And I have to give a huge congrats to Jaslene for taking it all the way. Yer my awesome Latina super mod, fer sure! Okay, let’s recap this gem, shall we?!?

OMG, I first have to apologize to those West Coast peeps for that spoiler last night. I totes never thought about the time difference. I was a totes knucklehead. I hope you all can forgive moi? Okay, let’s get down to biz. For the first elimination challenge with our final three modz, they had the classic Top Modz finale, the “My Life as a Covergirl” commercial and photo shoot! They all shot at different locations AND they had to adlib. Now, I know first hand how difficult that is. When we have to adlib for the Podcast, the crazy shet that comes outta my mouth. I do prefer scripts! So, Renee actually did the best and the judges agreed. She started out kinda ruff in the commercial with the whole “when I had my baby I thought my life was over” bit. But she sassed it up and put a positive spin on things. Cha-Cha looked “fierce”, but her delivery was, well, kinda scrunch face-toothy, riiight?!? And Nata, sweet Nata was so bad that I loved her with all my heart!

Same in the photos, Renee looked the best but the judges felt that they’d seen her look before… The other 2 are more exotic! Jaslene looked cute, but the judges felt that maybe she’s not so commercial. And Natasha, sweet little Nata, I thought she looked really uncomfortable in the shot. But the judges seemed to really like it. I thought for sure that Natasha was going home, BUT in the biggest upset, the judges sent that evil-azz, old lookin’ betch home. Keith and I were screaming our lungs out on the Ikea. I thought for sure she’d be in the final 2… And by the look on her face, she did too. She was such a betch to Tyra too. Good riddance! So, it’s Natasha and Jaslene battling it out to the end!

Before the final runway show, the girls each did their own version for the Seventeen cover shoot. OMG, when they were pulling looks, I was hoping so bad that a fred flare look would pop up! But alas, we didn’t get any camera time! Next season, riiight! You know, we love Tyra so much! I defs wanna do something with Top Modz… Like wouldn’t it be rad to have a fred flare challenge for the girls next season? I’m gonna get right on that!!!!

Okay, for the final runway show, the girls had to walk for Aussie designers Sass & Bide! But first we wouldn’t have a Top Modz finale without the previous winner showing up to pass her crown. That’s riiiight my friends, CrazyDee is back with craziness intact, a Chanel bag and tonz of advise for Nata and Cha-Cha! With Jay as their coach and Crazy and their shrink, the girls embarked on their journey on the insane circular catwalk. They started off as these crazy cave-women type creatures and then the fierceness began. When Natasha’s skirt fell off, OMG, I totes died. When that happened and she just kept walking, I thought fer sure she was gonna win. The judges love that kinda shet! They both did really, really great! I was proud of both of my betches! I loved the face-off posing right in front of Tyra! So rich!

In the end the judges felt Cha-Cha started off the show weak but gained momentum to full-on fierce. The opposite with Natasha. She started out amazing and then pooped out! I absolutely adored when the girls spoke Russian and Spanish at the final panel. OMG, I wanted them both to win… DRUM ROLL PLEEZE! In the final seconds Tyra crowned Jaslene as America’s Next Top Model. I was screaming so loud, I like missed the final seconds of the show. I totes love Natasha and all her crazy sayings. I truly hope we see tonz more of her but I was rooting for Cha-Cha the whole time! She’s my spicy Latina chili peppah… Who couldn’t love a girl raised by drag queens! Oh Jaslene, you got axed last season, got yerself into therapy and then took the prize home! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH and can’t wait to see your July cover of Seventeen! Peace out Tyra! Enjoy the break and we’ll see ya’ll in the fall for the next season of Teevz: America’s Next Top Model. Cha-Cha doncha!